TL;DR: Continuously trying to win someone over at the expense of your own peace is neither healthy nor wise. Apologize (for your own sake), forgive, make peace, and move on.

In the last five years or so, I’ve noticed that in almost every industry, the villain of every story is getting more attention, often even being portrayed as the main character. I have issues with this trend, especially the need to justify a villain’s actions as if “the end justifies the means.”

I’ve also repeatedly observed the idea of pursuing one’s own happiness, emphasizing the notion that you don’t need anyone or anything else to achieve what you love or desire. I have issues with that as well. I believe that if everyone’s goal were to pursue the happiness and well-being of others, we would live in a better world.

However, what if, in a particular scenario, no matter what you do, say, try, or repeat, you keep being seen as the villain?

We don’t control anyone’s thoughts, and as we’ve heard countless times, each person is a whole world unto themselves. While I would love to live in a world without selfishness, it is not possible.

So, back to my question: What if, in a particular scenario, no matter what you do, say, try, or repeat, you keep being seen as the villain?

As a follower of Jesus, I am called to forgive; this is my belief. I have also heard preachers reference Matthew 5:38-39 when preaching about forgiveness, specifically, “If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.” This too is my belief. However, God knows my heart, and I know that above everything, I am His particular priority (as, in His magnificence, you are too). He would not want my heart to ache continually because of a recurring situation.

He calls us to forgive, not only for the benefit of others but for our own stability, well-being, and peace. He also calls us to protect our heart: “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23.

As contradictory as this post may seem, for me, it means knowing when enough is enough. It’s about recognizing when someone’s behavior is unacceptable and intolerable, regardless of how close that person is to your heart. It’s putting a stop on relationships that aren’t bringing you blessing at all, only pain and suffering.

I have make my peace by asking myself these questions:

• Is this situation related to what happen, the facts, or related to their personality and maturity?
• Will I be a better person if I keep this person near me?
• Will they be a better person if I keep trying?
• And lastly, and what makes me make a decision, do you see your self in the same circumstanced in the near future?

I have made my peace, I moved on.

It’s ok to be the bad person in someone else’s story.

“We don’t control anyone’s thoughts, and as we’ve heard countless times, each person is a whole world unto themselves.“

Apologize (for your own sake), forgive, make peace, and move on.

Feature Photo by Matt Le on Unsplash